“Don’t sit like that, cross your legs.”
“No, no, that’s for boys…THIS is for girls.”
People will try and mold you to a perfect concrete vision of society’s standards, try and change you, tell you to keep quiet, not to speak up or out. Tell you what is and what isn’t “lady-like”, tell you not to fight fire with fire, and put your fists down, because “that’s not how a lady acts.” You’ll “randomly” get stopped and frisked, but observe two caucasian men in clean-cut suit and tie walk past without a second glance.
You’ll get older and understand how twisted the real world is, the black and white curtained world you surrounded yourself around is no longer. Part of your childhood, history, because you’ll hear a phrase you’ll hear for the rest of your years, “life’s not fair.” Your mother will sit you down and tell you that your skin color makes you different and you’ll argue, tell her you’re exactly the same as all the other kids, until you witness firsthand white privilege. Because consequences do not apply the same to you as they do to others.
There is more you always wish you could’ve said, could’ve done. You’ll lose that sense of fire and drive that you used to have. You’ll bite your tongue and add a “haha” at the end of your sentences, so what you say doesn’t come across too aggressively because, apparently, having a valid opinion makes you ill-tempered, not a leader. Supposedly, being assertive isn’t a trait a “lady” should have, though being able to cook, clean and dress up for a man is?
You don’t wear your hair for anyone. You style your hair because that’s how YOU want to. You dress the way you do, because that’s how YOU choose to. People will tell you that you look better with your hair this way or that way, that you look more flattering in this or that outfit. Some will even go as far as using the phrase “for a black girl”, you won’t be able to wrap your head around why someone thinks it’s an acceptable compliment to tell someone, that they’re pretty… “for a black girl.” You’ll want to say something witty back, maybe a little rude, but no, bite your tongue, you wouldn’t want to be labelled aggressive.
You won’t be a perfect concrete vision of society’s standards but that’s okay, because you’re not objectified, you’re not identified as a label, and you will never be an object, because you’re you.
